This blog post is a BIG one for me personally! Its a great topic for anyone living with another person,
including a spouse, partner, friend, and even kids, who is trying to design and decorate their home.
Making design and decorating decisions to your home can be
challenging; factor in another persons opinions and the process can be not only
drawn out due to lack of agreeability, but emotionally draining. Blending your style and taste with another
persons can be tricky but there are ways to make it easier and accomplish your
goals.
You need to act as a team in order to get the best
results. Here are some ideas:
Each of you making a list of:
1 1. Goals/your priorities for the room
2. Specific ideas you already have for the room (tip:
gather pictures of rooms you like; create idea books thru online sites such as
Pinterest and Houzz)
Sit down together and review your lists. You may be more specific with your list than
the other person. Be as visual and specific as possible (I say that a lot because its important).
YES you will disagree, so read these tips below to minimalize arguments and resentment as you take on your
project:
Don’t let this meeting become a bar fight. Feelings can be hurt if you degrade someone’s
choice of personal style; be respectful and you will be happily surprised with
the progress you make! You may be coming
together with no ‘baggage’ (furniture/décor); or you each have ‘baggage’ from
previous residences. Deciding what to
keep and what to get rid of can be very
emotional. Yes, it is possible to blend styles.
If a modern table represents you, but traditional chairs represents the
other person, go for it!
Go back to your original list of priorities you wrote down. Express the most important one, and have your partner do the same. Make a decision to give each of you something; For example, if electronics are your thing, ask to take
that on and let the other person choose another element. If there are multiple spaces included in your
project, let one of you have more say in one of the rooms, and take on the other so you both feel in control.
There are a lot of options to choose from with most aspects
of designing and decorating. If one of you gets overwhelmed at the thought of
all that is out there, narrow down the options for the other by doing pre
shopping, then present your ideas. The
key is not to tell them THIS is what you are doing; instead give them
choices. You are giving them a voice
although controlling the volume.
Quick story for you: I redesigned a family room for a couple
and they did not include their thirteen year old son. You might not think anything of this, but
after the room was complete, the son expressed his dislike of it over and
over. This is his room too and he was
shell shocked by the changes. Keep kids
in the process of changes to their environment so they adapt to them better to
it. You don’t need their permission to
make changes, just keep them involved.
Your aim at the end of the project is to have the room or
rooms feel like all of you are represented.
I can’t tell you how many times I have run back and forth to
stores with throw pillows because I saw them and loved them but my husband did
not. Custom furniture can be very
expensive and many times you cannot return it, so make sure you do not buy it
on a whim without the other persons approval.
I have seen too many times, people buy furniture because they give up
and feel overwhelmed, then regret it.
If you feel strongly about a piece of furniture, paint
color, or other design element you want, and your partner says NO, do not take
it negatively. Turn it around on them by
asking them why they don’t like it. Ask
for a more specific reason. Maybe it’s
the fabric on the chair you chose, but not the chair itself. Or maybe he/she can’t see your vision fully
so you need to help him/her understand it better.
Or maybe it’s an emotional attachment to what you are looking to
replace? You may end up getting the
other person on board with what you want to do!
Good luck with your project!
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